CAtharsis

Catharsis - the act or process of releasing strong emotions.

When you are confused/ stressed/ depressed, you always want to have a talk with someone near to you - to express your accumulated, jumbled thoughts, in order to clean them as they keep on creating trouble in your mind as well as in behavior.

The way of catharsis/expression is different in male and female. In a family, both of them have their own share of problems (professional as well as personal). So they share their problems with each other as a friend. But most of the time, they end up leaving the conversation in between, which is even more frustrating.

Have you given a thought to this half-way conversation? Why it happens, or, what is the reason of this incomplete dialogue? The reason lies in the difference in expectations of male and female from their listening partner, during venting-off sessions.

Both sides of them expect same thing from each other – that is to be, “a patient listener” without any kind of interruption. Example:-

When a male is sharing his problem, he expects only appreciation from the listener. But , if she starts to interrupt him with her cross questions/suggestions (by default), he gets annoyed and chooses to stop sharing.

Actually a man never wants to listen solution of the problem, or list of suggestions regarding his decisions – because, for this, he already has his own like-minded peer group. So, if she tries to raise finger on his decision, he gets offended and chooses to become a turtle in-a-shell means no communication at all.

 Reason?

 A disturbed/stressed person wants to speak his mind in a single flow  and wants no back flow or repercussions, so that he can vent off the stress in a single sitting, and at that time, he wants other person to be an appreciator, not a critical analyzer.

And whenever he is questioned in between, or flooded with suggestions, or given negative comments on his things - this catharsis process is disturbed severely, and leaves him more stressed. So he chooses to cut the rope in between.

Take a look at the unique pattern of the behavior of a female-

When she is sharing, or venting-off her problem, or thought, she expects only and only sympathy from the other side. And mostly, her male counterpart, by nature, has a habit to give, his point of views/suggestions, or tries to pinpoint her mistakes .This also stops her to converse or share.

When she is in stress, she will never be ready to listen suggestions .So, better way to release her from stress, is to listen her carefully (with all your attention, as she will keep an eye on your concentration also) without a bit of suggestion. Because, females are not in habit to keep the thoughts inside - they always feel better, when they share it with someone.

In general, if we say, every person knows his/her situation better than others. So, sometime we want someone to listen  us patiently, without any type of obstructive reaction. This one-way flow helps us to get relieved from congestion of the thoughts.

In such cases, best way is to turn your best ear, and show him/her, that you understand him/her. This empathetic behavior can relieve a person from emotional acidity, by allowing verbal vomiting, and can save him from negative effects of the psycho-congestion.

So, better to give rest to your mind, and tongue, and to appoint the ears only, for a better relationship. Keep listening……..

(Tip-Though not every time).

HAVE A GOOD DAY. 

Seema 

💐💐