ARe You A DustbiN?

Today in the odd hour of the afternoon, my phone started ringing. I was little annoyed , but picked the phone. On the other side there was one of my friends who appeared little bit disturbed and was willing to share some of the details of her problem. As I was in office and was busy also, I offered her to talk after half an hour so that, after completing my pending work, I can concentrate on her talks. Though her voice sounded a bit reluctant, but she had to say yes.

Hardly 20 minutes were passed and she rang me up again and this time she started to speak in flow without a beat. I could not say no to her as I thought that she is in mental agony and I should try to sympathize. This social work of mine lasted in 1 and half hour. This was totally one-way traffic with some yes or no words from my side. In between if I ever tried to advise her something she did not allow me to do so. In a nutshell , I can say that, I was used as a dustbin to pour garbage of her mind into my mind and as you know it is always unidirectional and never can be bidirectional.

After this telephonic consultation(not consultation exactly), I felt totally drained and exhausted and those 1 and half hour of social work spoilt rest of my working hours, so no more productive work for the day.

After that I never got a call from her for months. As I was busy in my tight schedule, still I used to think about her problem many times and wanted to know how she is now? So one day, I called her on phone. I was surprised that she was altogether fine, in fact appeared cheerful. I told her my concern but she responded as if she never had a problem. Then I was forced to think that, “on that day it was her emotional tide which threw the water on me to relieve herself.”

These kinds of incidences must have occurred in your life also, when people use you as a dustbin to vent off. They waste our time and energy and then disappear from picture once they attain ease.

It irritates you a lot, but every time you do the same thing for different people, I mean dustbin is same but users keep on changing. This steals lots of our precious time which we could have used for us or for our nearest and dearest.

One more interesting fact-these people pose themselves very nearest and dearest to you when they are in need but once they are done they never look back at you and give you a cold shoulder when you need them.

They just want to speak their problems, they never want to listen advice from you .Most of the time they are in habit to put words of their choice in your mouth. So, you are more or less a passive living machine for them, who can answer only in yes or no.

They always hunt people to vomit out their mind and choose their prey meticulously who is empathetic and good listener. So that they can successfully transfer their garbage into listener’s mind leaving him/her confused, drained and frustrated. 

After such sessions you feel like a disposable object which is destined to be dumped after use. My long lasting experience with such people forced me to stand against their leechlike action.

So I decided to use a word, “no”, in a firm tone or sometime in a stern manner (conditions apply).This helped me a lot. Now I can smell such people ahead of a conversation. I have learnt to refuse stubbornly to be a part of this social work either with soft excuses or by showing my priority list (depending upon the leech).

I am also practicing some skills like whenever someone starts to suck my mind I reciprocate in the very same manner. Because these people always want to suck others and are never interested in giving ear to someone else’s problem.

Formula is:- as soon as they start weeping on your shoulder just do the same and drop your two and half kg head weight on their shoulder(interrupt them by telling your problems). This will shoo them off like anything and that too, immediately. Because they will not waste their time listening you, instead of this, they will search someone else to act as a dustbin for them.

Sometime, “ NO” is a good word, develop the skill to say NO.

Stay Happy

Seema💐💐

Kushal in his best mood

The Parking Space

Being a working woman, I always lament upon, lack of time for the things, I always wanted to do in my life other than regular routine work. This makes me frustrated at times. Finally, one good day, I gifted myself, a whole day to think about this issue. Though, it was not a problem exactly, but it used to bother me every now and then.

So, after long contemplation of a day, I came to a conclusion/ realized that:-

- I’m having a pretty good time in a whole day, but proper management of time is a missing content.

-Secondly, I m not performing chores in proper/desired manner. All the things I want to do simultaneously as a result, all the things mess up and turn out clumsy.

-Lastly, I realized lack of appropriate planning to execute any work, so ,most of the times we end up doing insignificant things and put important tasks on back burners.

So, this is how, I charted out my mistakes, but how to correct all these in a single shot? The question popped up in my mind/

Answer was given by my calm mental state only (as the full day was devoted for this). I determined to correct my working patterns. As, the old habits die hard, I decided to change them with slow pace, and to work upon them one by one.

I determined to keep my mind’s parking slot tidy and well organized (not in haphazard manner). So that, execution time can be reduced and utilized somewhere else.

It’s better to plan the things well in advance. This time lag between planning and execution of work will give preparation time to mind and will also help to sprout new ideas.

When we remain occupied with multi tasking or unprepared projects, new thoughts and ventures never get surfaced in our mind .Think about a parking space occupied by cars in ill mannerly way, how a new car can be parked there. So, same happens with our mind. To get newer things, older ones should be properly placed, so that, new one can be welcomed and accommodated.

So, try these simple tips to be a good manager of your own time. I’m sure you will end your day with little exhaustion and more contentment. By organizing your parking space in your mind you can add new flavor of satisfaction and happiness in your routine.

Keep your parking place clean and spaced.

Seema

The Panchnama: The warm up

The Panchnama: The warm up: A day without an aim is like a regular routine food that satisfies our apetite but do not fulfill craving. So lets start the day “with...

The warm up

A day without an aim is like a regular routine food that satisfies our hunger but do not quench craving.

So lets start the day “with at least one aim”, no matter how big or  small it is. But it should be there.

The best way is to plant an idea before going to the bed, and the whole night will be latent period for that idea and your neural connections will work upon that to make it possible in many ways.

 In the morning when you wake up, your brain will be there with different possible thoughts to accomplish the task and with little effort you can pick the best suitable way to make it possible.

Even many researches have proved this.

Start practicing to make small aims in your life and enjoy to accomplish them with suitable strategy.

The best thing we can do is, to inculcate this practice in our kids right from the childhood with kid size goals. So that, in future they can be good planner to  handle their  aims/goals with proper planning and execution strategies.

 Let's set a goal and start the warm up for it just now.

Seema 💐

Minimum Load

Each of us has our own grievances and grudges either towards life or towards people . We all are in habit to carry all negative thoughts of the  past, in our mind and heart consciously or unconsciously.

We try to cling ,on those thoughts because they pose us as a victim/diseased. And for sure, we love to get sympathy from others.This garbage of past ,keeps on stinking in our mind and heart , polluting our thoughts and behaviour and at the very same time stops us to open up towards new experiences of life with a reluctant attitude towards new things, new relations and new challenges of  life. We keep on looking everything  with same old goggles of negative attitude..

This attitude not only occupies ,maximum space of  hard disc of our mind but also secretly drains our energy. Leaving us drained , exhausted and hopeless without any discernible cause.As a result there remains no room in mind  for productive , creative and positive attitude/things.

Though we are always aware of the fact, that, things from the past can not be corrected or changed  , but still we keep on trying to set them right, in our thought process, and remain  occupied with non-productive thoughts.This results in depression and puzzling in back of the mind .Sooner or later it start to appear in our behaviour and we are tagged as a negative person with lot of complaints and negativity. So, very first thing we need to apply in our life is to break the chain of unpleasant thoughts from the past. As they try to intrude immediately throw them out. Initially it may appear difficult but regular conscious practice will make it easier n easier(as we all know practice makes a man perfect).

We can also evaporate negative thoughts by doing our favourite work  like music, household chores or anything else. It is sure, that after every single effort you will feel lighter and ready for creative, productive and positive thoughts, to hit the path ahead in a very positive manner.

Act of forgetfulness for the past can make us Happy and lighter.Keep your load minimum.

Are you a problem or a solution?

Most of the time we see any situation or a change as a problem that is pulling us outside of our comfort zone. So, we try to keep it off by throwing many excuses, to pose it as a problem/issue that couldn't be resolved or belong to category of impossibles and keep on wasting the energy in making it larger and larger.
Many times we escape successfully but some times we found ourself entrapped in its web. So, sooner or later we have to come out with a bunch of solutions, just to get over of it.
Isn't it better to see any new thing /circumstance /situation  in  a different way? Isn't it good to take it as a challenge or at least to take it positively,so that our mind can start working in a positive direction and start thinking about new ideas or solutions.
As we all know that a good homework speeds up any project then why to waste time in escaping or warding off process.Better to be a part of a solution rather than to line up in problem list.
Stacks of problems can make you feel weak,feeble or frustrated. But regular fight or even a step towards a solution will leave you full of confidence ,contended and with handful of experiences.
Be a part of solution not of the problem.

The AAJADI

Now-a -days many of people are talking about freedom of speech , freedom from poverty,casteism and reservation and many more things in our country .
These so called freedom favourers are belonging to a group that themselves can not free their mind ,from other people's ideas.They do not have their own thought process ,frequently using borrowed ideas,using hard earned money of others in name of studies.They can't stand up for their family even then how they will fight for the country.
So better they should call a freedom fight against their own slaved mind and make it free from imported dust and then use their own mind, after all they are more than 18.