Stop being a machine

Have you ever realized that technology is making us selfish, insensitive, and nonchalant towards our loved ones?

We love to sit for hours with our gadgets, but get irritated soon, when having a talk with someone personally. We are becoming intolerant and stubborn, why?

Because for every input, we want pre-calculated, desired output, that we can actually get from machines only, but not from the human beings. And this evasive desire of ours is making us frustrated, irritated and intolerant towards living things.

We are ready to/ love to hear loud, noisy rock music on TV, laptops or in our mobiles for hours, but become highly irritable, even with slightest higher tone of our loved ones .So what is going on actually?

Are we transforming into a machine, or our receptors are facing down regulation for living things around us?

This robotic behavior is killing our emotions silently, and making us a human-being with machinic features. So it's up to us only, what we want to be exactly?

A human with variety of emotions, behavior and ever ready for the roller-coaster ride of the life?

Or

A human with defined behavior, with a confined liking to be in a comfort zone always, and unwilling to face/discover new challenges in life (where upgradation happens forcibly only, just to fit in a selected criterion)?

Choice is ours - to remain as a human being, or to stop being a human.

It is good to have machines around us, for help, but do not allow them to intrude in your mind, and to change settings of your mind-set.

Let's choose to remain as a sympathetic, compassionate and tender-hearted human being.

The Wind Chimes

Stand up Rohan, hurry up, you are getting late for the school !

Finish your lunch soon, you have to do your home work!

What are you waiting for? Finish your home-work, we have to leave for your guitar classes!

I think everybody is familiar with these sentences.The reason of this haste?

Upbringing of children in nuclear family and that too ,with working parents. So the tight time schedule forces parents to finish everything in time, which in turn, affects the little ones of the house also. 

The kids, “the wind chimes” of every home, fill the home with their melodious tunes, and are small bundles of the joy with unlimited positive energy. When a baby steps into our life, we feel ourselves on cloud nine. Even with the thought, before they come into our lap, we feel ourselves as the richest person of the world and wait eagerly to welcome and cherish them.

But, the shelf life of this celebration is too short to enjoy. As soon as, we get into our daily routine (both in professional and personal), we do forget to enjoy with them. Instead, we start to take them for granted and give our preferences to daily routine over them. Unconsciously we take them as a routine work/responsibility which has to be finished in time. Without conscious participation of mind, our emotional feelings are overborne by mechanical doings, and little champs are forced to follow hush-hush lifestyle.

Result—our bundles of joy are always under the pressure to finish everything within given time limit (time-out schedule), whether it is a school time, or a lunch time, or a homework time, or the nap time or the play time. This punctuality/ steadfastness ride high on their own time.

Same time they are also expected to be perfect in social mannerism like any other adult/mature person. So, unknowingly we treat them as a computer/ a machine/ a robot, where outputs should be proper,and definite.

We forget to allow them to do or relish the things, they want to do, according to their age. Instead they are imposed to follow our schedule.

Though their innocence manages to steal opportunities from the strict rules and regulatory ambience, and of course, it is the beauty of the childhood.                                    

So let’s pause for some time and ponder about our bundles of joy, their priorities and their freedom. We are blessed to have them and to relish beautiful moments with them.

Let‘s spare some time to talk, to play, and to interact with the kids. Let’s see the things from their eyes and help them to grow naturally, It will definitely add beautiful colors in their canvas of happiness. This friendly environment will also help us, to keep the stress off, and for sure many of your problems will get solutions from their innocence.

To have a discipline in life is essential, but it should not scorch their childhood innocence, freedom and happy moments. Let them be angels, do not expect them to act as a mature person, or as a robot that responds in defined way to different commands.

 SEEMA

CAtharsis

Catharsis - the act or process of releasing strong emotions.

When you are confused/ stressed/ depressed, you always want to have a talk with someone near to you - to express your accumulated, jumbled thoughts, in order to clean them as they keep on creating trouble in your mind as well as in behavior.

The way of catharsis/expression is different in male and female. In a family, both of them have their own share of problems (professional as well as personal). So they share their problems with each other as a friend. But most of the time, they end up leaving the conversation in between, which is even more frustrating.

Have you given a thought to this half-way conversation? Why it happens, or, what is the reason of this incomplete dialogue? The reason lies in the difference in expectations of male and female from their listening partner, during venting-off sessions.

Both sides of them expect same thing from each other – that is to be, “a patient listener” without any kind of interruption. Example:-

When a male is sharing his problem, he expects only appreciation from the listener. But , if she starts to interrupt him with her cross questions/suggestions (by default), he gets annoyed and chooses to stop sharing.

Actually a man never wants to listen solution of the problem, or list of suggestions regarding his decisions – because, for this, he already has his own like-minded peer group. So, if she tries to raise finger on his decision, he gets offended and chooses to become a turtle in-a-shell means no communication at all.

 Reason?

 A disturbed/stressed person wants to speak his mind in a single flow  and wants no back flow or repercussions, so that he can vent off the stress in a single sitting, and at that time, he wants other person to be an appreciator, not a critical analyzer.

And whenever he is questioned in between, or flooded with suggestions, or given negative comments on his things - this catharsis process is disturbed severely, and leaves him more stressed. So he chooses to cut the rope in between.

Take a look at the unique pattern of the behavior of a female-

When she is sharing, or venting-off her problem, or thought, she expects only and only sympathy from the other side. And mostly, her male counterpart, by nature, has a habit to give, his point of views/suggestions, or tries to pinpoint her mistakes .This also stops her to converse or share.

When she is in stress, she will never be ready to listen suggestions .So, better way to release her from stress, is to listen her carefully (with all your attention, as she will keep an eye on your concentration also) without a bit of suggestion. Because, females are not in habit to keep the thoughts inside - they always feel better, when they share it with someone.

In general, if we say, every person knows his/her situation better than others. So, sometime we want someone to listen  us patiently, without any type of obstructive reaction. This one-way flow helps us to get relieved from congestion of the thoughts.

In such cases, best way is to turn your best ear, and show him/her, that you understand him/her. This empathetic behavior can relieve a person from emotional acidity, by allowing verbal vomiting, and can save him from negative effects of the psycho-congestion.

So, better to give rest to your mind, and tongue, and to appoint the ears only, for a better relationship. Keep listening……..

(Tip-Though not every time).

HAVE A GOOD DAY. 

Seema 

💐💐

The Virtual Enemies

We all have our own virtual world with our pet enemies, who keep on distracting us every now and then - draining our precious energy and time.

On the basis of some real-time unpleasant experiences with some people, our unconscious mind assumes and accepts them as our virtual enemies.

Most suitable and self explanatory example is relationship between a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. Most of the time they take each other as an enemy – reason behind may be some bad experiences. But most of the time, it is prejudiced mindset (credit goes to our society). So, things become bitter and bitter with the passing time.

In some situations, it might be one sided affair! And the other person might be completely unaware of this negative development from your side.

Then, why to waste the energy on such virtual mind stories? Better to keep the mind off from such negative thoughts by :-

- Deliberately downsizing them into insignificant/unsubstantial issues in your thought process.

- Diverting or /concentrating toward some positive people/things in life.

-If you are not sure about his/her status for you, use the tool of communication – because, many-a-times, a communication gap or out-of-the-touch situation makes the relationship sour, and we are unknowingly forced into the negativity.

-You can also treat them as potential competitors and can keep upgrading yourself to outsmart.

=  

Use a pencil to write your thoughts, of course, with an eraser allowed to interfere and undo our virtual wrongdoings,

Seema

ARe You A DustbiN?

Today in the odd hour of the afternoon, my phone started ringing. I was little annoyed , but picked the phone. On the other side there was one of my friends who appeared little bit disturbed and was willing to share some of the details of her problem. As I was in office and was busy also, I offered her to talk after half an hour so that, after completing my pending work, I can concentrate on her talks. Though her voice sounded a bit reluctant, but she had to say yes.

Hardly 20 minutes were passed and she rang me up again and this time she started to speak in flow without a beat. I could not say no to her as I thought that she is in mental agony and I should try to sympathize. This social work of mine lasted in 1 and half hour. This was totally one-way traffic with some yes or no words from my side. In between if I ever tried to advise her something she did not allow me to do so. In a nutshell , I can say that, I was used as a dustbin to pour garbage of her mind into my mind and as you know it is always unidirectional and never can be bidirectional.

After this telephonic consultation(not consultation exactly), I felt totally drained and exhausted and those 1 and half hour of social work spoilt rest of my working hours, so no more productive work for the day.

After that I never got a call from her for months. As I was busy in my tight schedule, still I used to think about her problem many times and wanted to know how she is now? So one day, I called her on phone. I was surprised that she was altogether fine, in fact appeared cheerful. I told her my concern but she responded as if she never had a problem. Then I was forced to think that, “on that day it was her emotional tide which threw the water on me to relieve herself.”

These kinds of incidences must have occurred in your life also, when people use you as a dustbin to vent off. They waste our time and energy and then disappear from picture once they attain ease.

It irritates you a lot, but every time you do the same thing for different people, I mean dustbin is same but users keep on changing. This steals lots of our precious time which we could have used for us or for our nearest and dearest.

One more interesting fact-these people pose themselves very nearest and dearest to you when they are in need but once they are done they never look back at you and give you a cold shoulder when you need them.

They just want to speak their problems, they never want to listen advice from you .Most of the time they are in habit to put words of their choice in your mouth. So, you are more or less a passive living machine for them, who can answer only in yes or no.

They always hunt people to vomit out their mind and choose their prey meticulously who is empathetic and good listener. So that they can successfully transfer their garbage into listener’s mind leaving him/her confused, drained and frustrated. 

After such sessions you feel like a disposable object which is destined to be dumped after use. My long lasting experience with such people forced me to stand against their leechlike action.

So I decided to use a word, “no”, in a firm tone or sometime in a stern manner (conditions apply).This helped me a lot. Now I can smell such people ahead of a conversation. I have learnt to refuse stubbornly to be a part of this social work either with soft excuses or by showing my priority list (depending upon the leech).

I am also practicing some skills like whenever someone starts to suck my mind I reciprocate in the very same manner. Because these people always want to suck others and are never interested in giving ear to someone else’s problem.

Formula is:- as soon as they start weeping on your shoulder just do the same and drop your two and half kg head weight on their shoulder(interrupt them by telling your problems). This will shoo them off like anything and that too, immediately. Because they will not waste their time listening you, instead of this, they will search someone else to act as a dustbin for them.

Sometime, “ NO” is a good word, develop the skill to say NO.

Stay Happy

Seema💐💐

Kushal in his best mood

The Parking Space

Being a working woman, I always lament upon, lack of time for the things, I always wanted to do in my life other than regular routine work. This makes me frustrated at times. Finally, one good day, I gifted myself, a whole day to think about this issue. Though, it was not a problem exactly, but it used to bother me every now and then.

So, after long contemplation of a day, I came to a conclusion/ realized that:-

- I’m having a pretty good time in a whole day, but proper management of time is a missing content.

-Secondly, I m not performing chores in proper/desired manner. All the things I want to do simultaneously as a result, all the things mess up and turn out clumsy.

-Lastly, I realized lack of appropriate planning to execute any work, so ,most of the times we end up doing insignificant things and put important tasks on back burners.

So, this is how, I charted out my mistakes, but how to correct all these in a single shot? The question popped up in my mind/

Answer was given by my calm mental state only (as the full day was devoted for this). I determined to correct my working patterns. As, the old habits die hard, I decided to change them with slow pace, and to work upon them one by one.

I determined to keep my mind’s parking slot tidy and well organized (not in haphazard manner). So that, execution time can be reduced and utilized somewhere else.

It’s better to plan the things well in advance. This time lag between planning and execution of work will give preparation time to mind and will also help to sprout new ideas.

When we remain occupied with multi tasking or unprepared projects, new thoughts and ventures never get surfaced in our mind .Think about a parking space occupied by cars in ill mannerly way, how a new car can be parked there. So, same happens with our mind. To get newer things, older ones should be properly placed, so that, new one can be welcomed and accommodated.

So, try these simple tips to be a good manager of your own time. I’m sure you will end your day with little exhaustion and more contentment. By organizing your parking space in your mind you can add new flavor of satisfaction and happiness in your routine.

Keep your parking place clean and spaced.

Seema

The Panchnama: The warm up

The Panchnama: The warm up: A day without an aim is like a regular routine food that satisfies our apetite but do not fulfill craving. So lets start the day “with...

The warm up

A day without an aim is like a regular routine food that satisfies our hunger but do not quench craving.

So lets start the day “with at least one aim”, no matter how big or  small it is. But it should be there.

The best way is to plant an idea before going to the bed, and the whole night will be latent period for that idea and your neural connections will work upon that to make it possible in many ways.

 In the morning when you wake up, your brain will be there with different possible thoughts to accomplish the task and with little effort you can pick the best suitable way to make it possible.

Even many researches have proved this.

Start practicing to make small aims in your life and enjoy to accomplish them with suitable strategy.

The best thing we can do is, to inculcate this practice in our kids right from the childhood with kid size goals. So that, in future they can be good planner to  handle their  aims/goals with proper planning and execution strategies.

 Let's set a goal and start the warm up for it just now.

Seema 💐

Minimum Load

Each of us has our own grievances and grudges either towards life or towards people . We all are in habit to carry all negative thoughts of the  past, in our mind and heart consciously or unconsciously.

We try to cling ,on those thoughts because they pose us as a victim/diseased. And for sure, we love to get sympathy from others.This garbage of past ,keeps on stinking in our mind and heart , polluting our thoughts and behaviour and at the very same time stops us to open up towards new experiences of life with a reluctant attitude towards new things, new relations and new challenges of  life. We keep on looking everything  with same old goggles of negative attitude..

This attitude not only occupies ,maximum space of  hard disc of our mind but also secretly drains our energy. Leaving us drained , exhausted and hopeless without any discernible cause.As a result there remains no room in mind  for productive , creative and positive attitude/things.

Though we are always aware of the fact, that, things from the past can not be corrected or changed  , but still we keep on trying to set them right, in our thought process, and remain  occupied with non-productive thoughts.This results in depression and puzzling in back of the mind .Sooner or later it start to appear in our behaviour and we are tagged as a negative person with lot of complaints and negativity. So, very first thing we need to apply in our life is to break the chain of unpleasant thoughts from the past. As they try to intrude immediately throw them out. Initially it may appear difficult but regular conscious practice will make it easier n easier(as we all know practice makes a man perfect).

We can also evaporate negative thoughts by doing our favourite work  like music, household chores or anything else. It is sure, that after every single effort you will feel lighter and ready for creative, productive and positive thoughts, to hit the path ahead in a very positive manner.

Act of forgetfulness for the past can make us Happy and lighter.Keep your load minimum.

Are you a problem or a solution?

Most of the time we see any situation or a change as a problem that is pulling us outside of our comfort zone. So, we try to keep it off by throwing many excuses, to pose it as a problem/issue that couldn't be resolved or belong to category of impossibles and keep on wasting the energy in making it larger and larger.
Many times we escape successfully but some times we found ourself entrapped in its web. So, sooner or later we have to come out with a bunch of solutions, just to get over of it.
Isn't it better to see any new thing /circumstance /situation  in  a different way? Isn't it good to take it as a challenge or at least to take it positively,so that our mind can start working in a positive direction and start thinking about new ideas or solutions.
As we all know that a good homework speeds up any project then why to waste time in escaping or warding off process.Better to be a part of a solution rather than to line up in problem list.
Stacks of problems can make you feel weak,feeble or frustrated. But regular fight or even a step towards a solution will leave you full of confidence ,contended and with handful of experiences.
Be a part of solution not of the problem.

The AAJADI

Now-a -days many of people are talking about freedom of speech , freedom from poverty,casteism and reservation and many more things in our country .
These so called freedom favourers are belonging to a group that themselves can not free their mind ,from other people's ideas.They do not have their own thought process ,frequently using borrowed ideas,using hard earned money of others in name of studies.They can't stand up for their family even then how they will fight for the country.
So better they should call a freedom fight against their own slaved mind and make it free from imported dust and then use their own mind, after all they are more than 18.